Bear with me.

HYPOCRISY. The most unlikeable and then again, the most inevitable issue. To me, of course, most irritating issue. I mean, if there's sth abt a person which seems really wrong to you, then you shoud just tell him or her. I'm not telling you to hold it against that person, at least let yourself be known. What's the point of just confining it all within yourself and build up your grudges against that person and still put on a fake smile to him/her. Omgoodness. I can't believe it. It's just so wrong and unhealthy to do it. Why, why can't ppl accept the fact that nobody, as in NOBODY is perfect!
Unhappiness is bound to emerge wherever you go. It's not meant to be hidden, but just meant to be shared; just like how you share your happiness. One has to learn to accpet and change, it's only for the better. But by confining your thoughtd abt a person within yourself, not only are you slef-restraining, but you're also not being of any help to that person's self-development. Yes, one NEEDS others for his'her own development, it's not a self- biult thing. A fake smile, a fake hello, a fake talk, a fake expression, a fake this and a fake that. When will you EVER reveal your true self. I mean, what's wrong with just facing it. It's really agitating.

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If being oblivious to my thoughts and feelings keeps us good, then, I'd still choose to be this way. Cuz, at the end of the day, it's not abt me. It's abt having you, your trueself next to me. I just miss the feeling so much. But I suppose, life still goes on. Ya, I still eat, sleep, pray and keep silent. No, it's not a protest from me, just keeping sth that has hurt me so much within me. Just give me time to dissolve it. That's all I ask for. To be back to normal, or at least, somewhere there.

'Amilo allineare'

That's all for now.

Love,
NisA

Just suddenly discerned some qns when I was on the bus the other day. I guess when life is too fast-paced and your life gets so structured to get accustomed and to suit the lifestyle, you just forget yourself. Cuz all you want to do is just to fit in. Or even, squeeze your way on through the tapering way. Then, sometime later sth strikes you... to think...just think about yourself.

Somehow rather, I feel so lost now adays.

Where am I going?
Where do I really want to go?
What is it that I really want to do?

Ya, lost questions. I realise that I've got some soul searching to do. haha. Serious. Search myself about my thoughts and reflections that I've neglected for the past...no idea. I suppose I've been too caught up with sleep and day dreams that keep me in a transed state. Then, I alight when I've reached my stop. Back to normal. Back to schedule. I need to pause. Just for some time.

Ya, I know I sound a bit , ok a lot EMO. It's just a fact I had to face.
So, sch life's been a bit ok. Today, some of my classmates and I went for some duty thing for the xiangzhi chinese chess competition. It was really a very, very different experience. No doubt it was boring watching ppl whom you don't know play a game which you know nuts about for hours. Haha. At least we had refreshments; which was manifestly the best part.
Nonetheless, it was nice to be involved in it with my classmates. :)

That's all for now.

Love,
NisA

Hello! ya, it's been really looooong. Cuz Ramadan was a busy month and then, shop was getting more and more crowded by the day owing to Deepavali. It was really a busy holiday.
Anyway, glad that the holidays ended in a nice way cuz we went fot Jalan Raya to some of my classmates houses and it was really a very different experience for me. As in, my relatives and I celebrate it very differently. We tend to spend the whole aftnn/ evening at a relative's house when invited. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed the experience. Thks gals!

Now that sch's started, everything's changed. From the mods we're taking to the teachers who are teaching us and even, most unexpectedly, people we know.
I just can't believe how ppl can change extremely within a month. No matter what, life still goes on as normal and everything's happening for the better.

New life. New experience. New MOTIVATION.

Hoping for a better day tmr. Insha Allah.

Love,
NisA